


you never know (hold a little tighter)

by wickedprayer



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: 5 + 1, Angst, Canon diversion, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Post 3x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 19:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8546239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedprayer/pseuds/wickedprayer
Summary: 5 times Seth comforts Kate post-Amaru and 1 time Kate comforts him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Helloooo. This is a new AO3 account for my Dusk FF and, spoiler alert -- this is my first piece of writing for this fandom. The story has been a week in the making and is un-beta'd by anyone other than me, so please forgive me if it sucks. But, truly - I hope you enjoy it and I hope it leads to me writing much more of these goddamn asshole kids again in the future. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, feedback fuels the writing. xoxo

1.

 

The first shower is a cleansing. Reality doesn’t feel real at all in the moments she spends under the hot, pressurized water. Her skin is numb and her thoughts fleeting, as if she can’t think straight long enough to hold onto them for longer than a second. 

 

She reminds herself in these moments that it’s ok to feel this way. Somehow, by some miracle, she had managed to keep her wits together and stay strong in the midst of the fight against Amaru. 

 

That…  _ bitch. _

 

Thinking it, saying it with her own mouth and her own volition -- the act is cathartic. 

 

She had meant what she said to Seth back in the caves. The girl she used to be? Kate Fuller from Bethel, the daughter of a Preacher? She’s gone. The first cracks had happened with the death of her mother. The second when her father whisked her and Scott away from everything they had ever knew to travel in an RV for an undetermined amount of time. Then came the Geckos and... everything along with them. 

 

Every step had been the subsequent death of that girl, all leading up to the finale of dying - and being brought back by the Queen of Hell. 

 

How could that girl still be there? It was unthinkable. 

 

But now, she isn’t quite sure who has taken her place. 

 

The relief she feels from the shower comes to an end not too long after. When she stands in front of the mirror and looks at herself for the first time since having regained control of her body. She can tell her arm to lift and have it move. She can close her eyes and not see anything if she doesn’t want to. 

 

These moments, they feel good. 

 

It’s when she looks up again, her vision clearing from the ‘what-if’s and the ‘finally’s that she truly takes in the sight of the scars on her wrist, the glaring red hair that Kate Fuller never would’ve worn. 

 

These sights don’t go away when she blinks. She can’t think with her mind and unfeel the blood draining from her. 

 

It’s suffocating. 

 

The urge to color her hair is strong, and she opens the mirror’s medicine cabinet to look for something,  _ anything _ to help her process what she is seeing, even though she doesn’t know what she expects to find in the medicine cabinet of a run down motel in the middle of nowhere. 

 

But knowing that doesn’t change the despair that creeps upon the edges of her vision when she finds… nothing. 

 

The panic that overtakes her is almost blinding, and in the back of her mind she registers her hands moving to the door of the cabinet before she slams it shut. It rocks against its’ hinges and it’s the first feeling of control she’s able to grasp. Reaching back out, she methodically begins opening and slamming the door over and over.

 

Rage as ugly as can be possesses her, refusing to let it out of her grasp, until --

 

“Kate!”

 

Awareness ticks at the edges of her mind but she can’t stop, wonders if she’ll  _ ever _ be able to stop. Moments pass in much the same manner, never relenting until the handle on the door snaps off, the gunshot as loud as can be in the small bathroom. 

 

And then her body is surrounded by solid muscle and a faded scent of whiskey. 

 

_ Seth. _

 

Her body shudders, wracked with tremors, only relaxing after minutes of his strong arms pulling her in tight against his body.

 

When he feels her start to relax, he finally speaks. “Kate, princess… What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

 

“No,” her voice answers, weak and tired. 

 

He pauses, clearly unsure how to proceed. She feels his hand work its way into her hair, brushing through it, and if this was any other day, any other time… she would’ve made a comment about the hardened Seth Gecko comforting her. 

 

But it’s not the time and those types of quips don’t feel important. So she sighs, trying to work through the mess in her head and put into words what just happened. 

 

“It’s okay, Kate. Take your time,” he finally says, as if her thoughts were his own. 

 

She only nods against his chest and they sit. Wait. She has no idea how much time passes while her and Seth sit together on the bathroom floor, but he never moves. Never complains. His silent strength fills her, and she finds her own resiliency in his. 

 

“Looking in the mirror… Everything just hit me. I know I should be stronger. I am stronger. But the sight of the god awful red hair,” she laughs sadly, “The scars on my wrists… I guess it all just caught up with me.”

 

Her words sit between them heavily, and Kate holds her breath as she awaits his response, the steady humming of his heart the only thing keeping her tied to this reality. She’s temporarily grateful that she can’t see his face at the moment - she just wants to  _ feel _ something. Anything.

 

“Listen - fuck,” he starts, his voice catching momentarily before he continues, “I can’t pretend to understand how you feel or what you’re going through. But I was being honest when I told that Queen Bitch that you are the strongest person that I know. That you would survive. Kate… you look at your wrists and you see death, defeat. I see you surviving. Living. That’s what scars show you - your strength. I should know, I have a fuck ton of them,” he laughs. 

 

She manages a small smile against his chest.

 

“And the red hair? I think you should keep it.”

 

“What? Why would I keep it?” she questions, taken aback.

 

“I think you should rock the hell out of it. Because Kate? You survived and that bitch didn’t.”

 

* * *

 

2.

  
  


The tequila burns her throat as it slides down, and she can hear Seth’s voice in her head telling her that you’re supposed to  _ avoid _ that. Knock it back so it can’t hurt. She hasn’t quite mastered that yet. 

 

It’s her third shot of the night and her muscles feel loose and relaxed, the buzz in her head making her feel euphoric for the first time in months.

 

She laughs as she watches Richie on stage in the hole-in-the-wall karaoke bar he’d dragged the three of them to. No one had protested as much as Seth, but she had thought it might be fun, something different. Grudgingly he had relented, as she was learning he so often did when it came to her. 

 

Things had been… different between the two of them. 

 

Of course, that’s what happens when you not-so-subtly tell a man that you love him. Things change. 

 

But in the month since leaving the desert behind them, they hadn’t fully found their place yet. There were moments, sure. Long looks and arms wrapped around one another. But it was all unspoken. Unestablished. 

 

She was okay with that. She needed time to regain a sense of normalcy and to find herself again. She thinks, no - knows, that Seth understands that. 

 

So they’ve continued on, close but never close enough. Just biding time. 

 

She brings her attention back to Richie on stage, singing some ridiculous rap song - one he was clearly unfit to be singing, but he was having such a good time that no one thought to stop him. 

 

The sound of glass hitting the table in front of her draws her attention to the other Gecko brother. 

 

“Another shot?” she laughs.

 

“What? Can’t keep up with the big boys?” 

 

Seth raises his eyebrow, shooting her a look that just dares her to knock the shot back. She knows she should slow down, drink some water first, but she’s not one to ever back down from a challenge. Especially not to him (or  _ any _ Gecko for that matter). 

 

Picking the shot glass up, she raises her own brow before slamming it back, her mouth twisting in displeasure once more at the burning taste. 

 

He laughs in response, giving her a short, mocking round of applause for her efforts. 

 

They continue on in a similar fashion until they are all - what Kate would call - sufficiently wasted. Of course, the guys handle it better than she does, but she just continues to let them steer the wheel. 

 

Richie has sung two more songs by this point, his vocals getting increasingly worse with each song ( _ “Really, Richard?” Seth had said when his brother had begun singing the first notes of the Copacabana _ ). Seth, however, still refused to sing. 

 

And Kate? Kate refused to leave the dinky bar until Seth’s ass had gotten up on that stage. And she didn’t stop from playing dirty. 

 

“You owe me,” she said in a last ditch effort. 

 

“Uh, refresh my mind, princess, on why the hell I would owe you this because it ain’t too clear to me.”

 

She blinked up at him, wide eyed, “Well, you did leave me on the side of the road once…”

 

His eyes narrowed immediately, the amusement on his face disappearing. “Kate…”

 

She interrupted him. “I’m not looking for an apology, just a song.”

 

She smiled sweetly at him, the smile only turning into a wide smirk when he grumbled, running a hand over his face and shuffling dejectedly over to the man working the karaoke machine. 

 

Kate will never admit to this, but she giggled just a little bit seeing the abject misery on Seth’s face when he finally stood in front of that microphone. He was so… cute. 

 

Thinking Seth was cute? A glaring sign she was drunk. Because cute was not the word one would normally use to describe Seth. Handsome, sexy… those were more apt. But in the haze of her tequila-coated mind, he looked a bit like a puppy on that stage. 

 

Her amusement and happiness at finally seeing him up there lasted, to her credit, for about a minute. 

 

It wasn’t the sound of his voice - which really, was horribly off-key - but it was the song he had chosen to sing. She knows he couldn’t have possibly known, and she knows it’s just a song. 

 

But it doesn’t stop the memories from a simpler time from crowding her head. 

 

It was her parent’s wedding song.  

 

And as the drunk mind so often does, the tide of her emotions flipped from happy to utterly sad within that one minute span. 

 

Standing on wobbly legs, she clutches the cross hung on her neck and turns for the exit, running as fast as she can while inebriated. She vaguely hears the music stop and her name being called but she keeps moving until she reaches the door of their car. Head resting on the side, she hugs her midsection and lets the tears begin to fall. 

 

It could be seconds or minutes, she can’t really tell, when she feels hands fall upon her shoulders.

 

“Damn I knew my singing was bad but to drive you running from the bar? That’s a new low, even for me.”

 

She lets out a whine, her forehead pushing harder into the side of the car. If she was sober, she’d be embarrassed. If she was sober, this wouldn’t be happening. But the six shots of liquor were demanding pentinance and the tears refused to stop falling. 

 

But as always, when it came to her? Seth knew to shut up and take her in his arms. 

 

Eventually, the tears quit. But his arms remained around her. 

 

* * *

 

3.

 

When Seth had proposed the first bank robbery, Kate had been unsure. Echoes of their time together spent in Mexico still haunted her. Would it lead to Seth spiraling again? Would it lead to them fighting and splitting up once again? Was she even up for it?

 

It had only taken her about an hour to realize… 

 

She was  _ bored. _

 

I mean, don’t get her wrong - she wouldn’t be anywhere else, doing anything else, but road tripping with them. But the excitement of the fight? She had grown accustomed to it. Felt herself wanting it. 

 

But it felt different this time. They didn’t have an urgent need for money. Seth and Richie still had money from their time spent running Jackknife Jed’s, and to be honest, Richie being a culebra meant they never had to be desperate. Yet, she could see that him and Seth were anxious, restless even. They missed the hunt and she couldn’t keep them from that. 

 

So after a couple of weeks of plotting and strategy, they had the plan for their first heist. 

 

As a trio. 

 

Everything had been going as well as they could have hoped. 

 

Right up until the end. 

 

Kate hates herself for not seeing it early. For not being able to stop it. But she hadn’t expected… 

 

A young woman had gotten herself injured in their flee from the police. Shot straight in the shoulder. She couldn’t have been older than Kate herself. 

 

After they had made it a reasonable distance from the chasing sirens, Kate had been almost embarrassed to find that she was almost on the verge of tears. 

 

They had both told her over and over that it was merely a flesh wound, that the girl would be absolutely fine and that she should be celebrating their victory. Their first. 

 

And she was. She knew they had done a great job and the adrenaline was still rushing through her veins in a way it hadn’t in a long time. 

 

She had dropped the subject and merely sat watching their scenery pass by in the backseat, uninterested in where they were going next. 

 

Reasonably, she knew it was a minor injury. After all that she had seen, she couldn’t understand why this was bothering her so much. 

 

A few days later, Seth had asked her to join him on a food run. With nothing else to do but sit with her guilty thoughts, she had agreed. Which is how she had found herself in the parking lot of a local Big Kahuna Burger. 

 

So lost in her thoughts, she had barely acknowledged the car had come to a stop until Seth spoke.

 

“I have something to tell you.”

 

Turning her head to look at him, she merely raised an eyebrow. 

 

Sighing, Seth shook his head. “I know you’ve been a little down lately because of that girl.” Kate didn’t respond, insteading shifting her focus back to the window. 

 

“I’m sorry, Kate.”

 

Biting her lip, she said, “I don’t even know why I’m so upset. I’ve seen…  _ done _ so much worse.”

 

Seth nodded, agreeing. It didn’t make her feel any better, and she was about to tell him that when he said, “Yes, you’re right. But, the difference is that she was an innocent girl. The people you hurt, saw hurt, that was Kate… I don’t fucking know. Pre-Amaru Kate. The people you hurt - weren’t even people. Fucking snakes, Kate. But then you had to watch your own hands hurt, and they hurt innocent girls. Just like the one in the bank. It’s normal to feel the way you’re feeling, sweetheart.”

 

A tear slipped down her cheek without her permission and she hastily swept it away with her hand. 

 

Once again, Seth Gecko was sitting here and making sense. Making her feel better. 

 

The thought was enough to bring a smile to her face. Because he was right. And she had to learn to accept that Amaru’s actions weren’t her own. That she couldn’t…  _ save _ everyone or shield them from hurt. This was how the world worked. 

 

“Thanks Seth,” she spoke quietly, “I needed to hear that.”

 

His hand covered hers on the drive shift and she squeezed it, her hand turning to allow her fingers to slip into the slots of his own. 

 

“That isn’t all I wanted to tell you, though.”

 

She shot him a confused look and his eyes dropped shyly, looking at their intertwined hands for a moment before he spoke. 

 

“I anonymously donated some of the cash we… took. Paid for the girl’s hospital bills.”

 

Kate’s mouth opened silently, surprise and something like delight filling her blood and for a moment... her heart felt full enough to burst. 

 

If Seth Gecko, a man who had never before cared about anyone but his family, could donate to a random woman?

 

She could find her own strength and some humility. 

 

Even as a bank robber. 

 

* * *

 

4.

 

If Kate had known how the day was going to go beforehand, she would’ve stayed in bed, covers pulled tight over her head for the entire day. 

 

Okay, so she’s being just a little, teeny-tiny dramatic. 

 

But honestly, she was about to lose her mind. And Kate considered herself to be a pretty levelheaded person on most days. But today…  _ everything _ was testing her patience. 

 

It had started with a phone call from Scott. Normally, this would’ve been a pick-me-up. And it had been... for the first three minutes of pleasantries.

 

Sensing he had been stalling, Kate had finally asked, “Why did you really call, Scott? As much as I love hearing from you, I know it isn’t to discuss Seth or Richie.”

 

Sighing, Scott had replied, “I met someone.”

 

“That’s great!”

 

He had only grunted in response.

 

“Ok… Why isn’t this great?”

 

“Listen Kate,” he said, “I met her at a concert a couple of months ago but she’s… not from here. She’s from London, actually. And I thought it was just gonna be a fling, I mean she’s human and I’m… not. But she’s going back in a couple of days and I’m going with her.”

 

Kate’s heart clenched, knowing where this conversation was headed. “Okay… for how long?”

 

“I don’t know. However long she’ll have me. Maybe longer.”

 

Her throat felt tight, her skin itchy. She had no right to be angry with him. He had asked her to come with him and she had told him she needed to move on to something new. But there’s something… permanent about Scott leaving to another country. There had never been that much distance between the two of them. If she needed him… if he needed  _ her _ , it was much more than a car ride away. 

 

But she has no right to tell him it’s a bad idea, or to ask him to stay. 

 

If Scott can find happiness and his humanity? What kind of sister would she be to profess her distaste at the idea. 

 

So she simply says, “Okay.”

 

They make with a few more minutes of pleasantries, ending the call on a stunted note. She could tell Scott knew she wasn’t taking the news well, but neither of them would address the situation. It simply was it was. 

 

Life would keep moving on, as it always did. 

 

Kate had been quiet, a little lethargic in the hours passing after the call. Seth and Richie had been out buying ‘supplies’ for hours now, leaving her to the silence and solace of their newest hotel room. She had flipped through channel after channel, seeing but not really comprehending the static-y channels in front of her. 

 

The migraine had already started creeping on the edges of her vision when Seth had called her, telling they were stopping at a liquor store and for some food, and did she want anything. 

 

Thing was, Kate was  _ not _ a lush. Sure, she liked to imbibe with the guys here and there, but she wasn’t one to sit in the hotel room slinging back whiskey all night like they were. But right now, the idea of a pleasant numb sounded great, and she requested a bottle of wine. 

 

_ “Any kind of wine.” _

 

_ “That doesn’t really help me out here, Kate,” Seth had sighed exasperatedly. His tone on edge.  _

 

_ Ignoring it, she had simply said, “Something sweet.” _

 

_ He laughed softly, “Just like you, huh?” _

 

_ Confused, she had meant to respond but he had hung up before she had been able.  _

 

Her confusion from the short phone call had progressed her migraine to the next level, the steady pulsing on either side of her eyes moving forward to a steady thump, thump. 

 

By the time the guys had gotten back to the room, her head was pounding and she felt irritable. Which was cue for the Geckos to make it even worse. 

 

They came in yelling. It wasn’t anything Kate wasn’t used to. They bickered  _ all of the time.  _ It was just how they functioned and it was non-stop. But this, whatever it was, was beyond the daily bickering she had grown accustomed to (and secretly, had even begun to enjoy). No, they were  _ screaming _ at each other as they slammed their purchases down on on the shoddy table next to them. 

 

She had lasted two minutes before…

 

“Oh my  _ god, _ shut up!” she had screamed. 

 

Surprised, they had stopped suddenly, looking over at her with wide eyes. 

 

On a roll, she didn’t even try to stop herself. “I am having a shit day, my head is absolutely screaming at me, and listening to you knuckleheads scream bloody murder and throw things like children is  _ not _ helping. So, sit there, hand me my wine and shut up!” She exhaled shakily, her hands immediately moving to her head to massage her temples in the wake of her outburst. 

 

“Princess…,” Seth started.

 

“Don’t princess, me, Seth Gecko,” she interrupted, “I’m not in the mood.”

 

Wisely, he had taken her advice - Richie, too - and had simply sighed, running his hands over his face and gripping his hair. Richie, looking annoyed and not ready to stop pushing Seth to the edge, had walked out of the room, muttering he was going for a drive. 

 

It had left Seth and Kate in the room, alone. Sensing Seth was about to begin talking yet again, she shook her head at him, reaching for the wine and unscrewing the plastic cap. She didn’t ask for a cup. No, she simply carried it back to the bed and began drinking straight from the opening. 

 

That had been two hours ago. Not a word had been uttered since then. They had simply sat, side by side, each drinking their poison of choice and watching TV, until Seth had finally broken the silence. It wasn’t a coincidence that he had waited until she finished her bottle of wine.  

 

“Wanna tell me what that outburst was about?”

 

“Not particularly,” Kate replied. 

 

Seth snorted, gaining a side eye and a glare, before Kate finally sighed, her body softening just enough for Seth to prod again.

 

“C’mon, Kate. Talk to me. It’ll help.”

 

She’s unsure if it’s the soft timbre of his voice, or the sweet wine ( _ Moscato, Seth had told her) _ running through her system that inspires her next move. Rather than talk,  _ god she is so tired of talking _ , she shifts her body, swinging a leg over Seth’s waist to straddle him. 

 

He lets out a grunt of surprise, but his hands automatically fall to the opposite sides of her waist, fingers digging in as he sets her down more firmly. The new position brings them in closer contact than they’ve ever been, and Kate is suddenly eager for more. 

 

She rolls her hips, pressing down on the rapidly growing length underneath her. Seth’s eyes darken, pupils expanding. Kate thinks through her blurry mind that she can  _ feel _ the weight of his stare raking across her skin. The idea is intoxicating. Overwhelming. 

 

“Kate…,” Seth’s voice is gruff, barely constrained by the pressure of her hips which refuse to quit moving on him. 

 

“Shut up, Seth.”

 

And then she’s leaning forward, her lips pressing sloppily against his own in their first  _ real  _ kiss. 

 

Seth is utterly still underneath her, and as Kate presses her lips more insistently against him, she starts to feel the first twinges of doubt - even in her wine soaked mind. But just as she’s considering pulling back, apologizing and possibly dying of embarrassment, Seth’s lips begin to move underneath hers. And it’s… everything.

 

Seemingly over his initial hesitation, his lips move forcefully around hers, tangling and pulling everything he can out of her. Their hands wander and stroke, Seth’s wandering up her back, her own stroking his jawline. They remain lost in one another, never moving beyond anything beyond making out and the new intimacy of each others bodies, until the sound of Richie returning back to the room breaks them apart. 

 

When Seth gently lifts her from his lap, setting her next to him, he gives her a sly smile, squeezing her hand. 

  
  


* * *

 

 

5.

 

Back in high school, Kate always knew what day it was. How could you not? There were calendars posted in every room, every piece of paper you used for your work required the date in the little right hand corner box. It was inescapable. 

 

Once the Dew Drop Inn happened upon their lives, time became an abstract promise. 

 

The day they spent in the Titty Twister felt like a month’s time. Then her and Seth left the Titty Twister to begin their summer as partners, and time seemed irrelevant. Only mattered when it came to plotting which day they would pull their newest job. 

 

Kate doesn’t realize what day it is until that afternoon, when she’s strolling the aisle of a local convenience store and happens to catch the date on the TV in the corner of the store. 

 

It’s the anniversary of her so-called death. 

 

She hasn’t told anyone this, but sometimes she can still feel the pressure of the bullets embedding themselves in her back. It isn’t something she likes to think about often. 

 

“Kate? You ready to go?”

 

Seth’s voice breaks her gaze away from the television, and she swings her head back to see him standing there, pack of razors and a case of beer in hand. His head tilts as soon as their eyes connect, but she shakes her head minutely. This time, she doesn’t want to talk. 

 

Biting his lip, Seth says, “What do you say to an adventure, huh? Just you and me. Let’s get the hell out of here for a few hours.” 

 

Fighting the surge of relief bubbling her in stomach ( _ which may be mixed with happiness, but she doesn’t want to go there just yet),  _ she replies, “What about Richie?”

 

He snorts. “What about him? He can sit in the hotel room practicing his fuckin’ magic for a few hours.”

 

“I thought you hated when he did magic,” Kate laughs.

 

“You fuckin bet your ass I do, sweetheart. But if I don’t gotta see it, I don’t give too much of a damn of what he does.”

 

She rolls her eyes, the smile coming to her face without her consent. “Okay, so where are we going?”

 

Seth winks, shaking the case of beer in his hand. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about that yet. It’s a surprise. Just go get some of those fruity little drinks you like so much and meet me at the register.”

 

Two hours later, they pulled up to a small beach on the coast of Texas somewhere. 

 

This time, the smile on her face is anything but small, and she laughs cheerfully as she looks out at the calm ocean, waves lapping the shore slowly, without any cares in the world. 

 

How did he always know what she needed? 

 

After laying out the thin threaded towels that Seth had found in the convenience store, they each grabbed their drinks and sat down, watching the endless dark waters in front of them sway peacefully. 

 

Breaking the silence, Kate asks, “How did you know this would help?”

 

Seth takes a swig of beer and scratches the 5 o’clock shadow on his face before turning his head towards her. Shrugging he responds, “Whenever I think about happiness? About really relaxing… Having it all… It usually involves a beach somewhere.”

 

Kate snorts.

 

“What, something funny about that?”

 

She rolls her eyes. “All I’m saying is that we spent all of that time wandering through Mexico and you never drove us anywhere near a beach.”

 

“Yeah, well, those weren’t exactly happy times,” he says, voice low. No doubt thinking about all of the broken down rooms and the drugs coursing through his veins. Not having Richie. 

 

She doesn’t want this to be another sad memory.

 

“Seth?”

 

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

 

“I’m happy.”

 

His hand intertwines with hers and for the first time, she feels like it’s true.

 

“Me too.”

 

Their own little El Rey.

 

* * *

 

1.

 

Seth isn’t much of a stranger to nightmares. 

 

Nightmares had followed him his entire life. The worst had been his childhood, of course. Between his mother leaving, his father’s verbal abuse, the fire… well he’d had his pick of alternating scenes. Each worse than the one before. 

 

As an adult they had tapered off in intensity but had switched to equally threatening ideas. There were the occasional nightmares of getting caught during a job, spending the rest of his life in prison. The worst, however, had been the ones of Richard. Him getting caught, him dying. Unfathomable visions he had never wanted to see. 

 

But the recurring nightmare he has had ever since that day in the church easily trumped all of the ones before it. Buried them.

 

It always begins with him running. 

 

Running and running and running. 

 

His legs feel like they are stuck in molasses, he’s moving  _ so _ slow. 

 

The second thing he always notices is the blood.

 

But the worst part? The overwhelming feeling of helplessness. 

 

Every night in his dreams, Seth Gecko relives Kate Fuller’s blood leaving her wrists at an alarming rate, and every night, it seems unstoppable. Helpless. Overwhelming. 

 

He loses her every time. 

 

Every dream follows the reality all the way up until the blood transfusion fails, and she never opens her eyes again. 

 

Sometimes he wakes up before it happens. Sometimes he wakes up long after. 

 

It never gets easier. 

 

Scott’s voice yells, begging next to him, but they inevitably always lose and it’s like losing your heart… twice.

 

Tonight, he wakes up as he’s shaking Kate’s body, begging - no,  _ pleading _ her to come back to him. 

 

The shaking gets faster, and faster, until -

 

“Seth!”

 

The voice peaking at the edge of his consciousness confuses him, but…

 

“Seth, you’re all right, wake up…”

 

He awakes with a jerk, his entire body tense. It takes him minutes to come to understand his surroundings. That he’s no longer in that fucking church, watching one of the most important people in his life die for the  _ second _ goddamned time. That there’s no blood in their hotel room. Just warmth and a subtle scent of lavender. 

 

_ Kate. _

 

Her arms surround him, pulling him in close to her body (one that he tells himself not to find comfort in time after time, but one he cannot help but want to consume). Seth breathes in, his own arms moving out of his own volition to wind around her small waist as he attempts to steady his pounding heart.

 

“The same dream again?” she asks, voice soft. 

 

He takes a shuddering breath, hating feeling weak in the face of the strongest person he’s ever met. 

 

“Yeah, kid. The same one.”

 

She presses a soft kiss against his forehead, muttering, “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

 

It’s crazy, right? How this girl can ground him, bring him back to reality and above all, make him feel  _ safe. _ Seth Gecko rarely feels safe. Doesn’t come with the game. But her…

 

It’s been minutes since they’ve spoken, but she breaks the silence, her hand moving to his jaw to bring his eyes to her own. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Not really,” he shakes his head, “It always ends the same.”

 

“Let me give you a different ending,” she says.

 

Seth furrows his brows, finding it hard to care about anything when her body is wrapped so sweetly around his own. 

 

“I love you,” she finishes.

 

Seth Gecko doesn’t believe in a lot of things. He’s lost hope and faith multiple times along the way in his shitty life, but in the arms of Kate Fuller - he’s finally found his own El Rey.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think! And, if wanted, you can also find me at... 
> 
> Twitter - /sethsrichies  
> Tumblr - /scthgeckos


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